National Rainbow Baby Day
Pregnancy with a rainbow baby can bring all of the emotions and there is no right or wrong way to journey through ....
Rainbow Pregnancy: The Light After the Storm
Today is National Rainbow Baby Day 🌈
I am a mum who has personally walked the rainbow pregnancy journey after baby loss. It forever changed me. I am also a pregnancy and birth companion who has walked with many families who have also navigated their personal journey of pregnancy with their rainbow baby, and I have witnessed them walk through in the ways that were right for them.
The journey of a rainbow baby can be many things, often a journey where grief and joy, loss and new life are held delicately at the same time. Often a whirlwind of all the emotions, of triggers, tuning into every niggle or pregnancy symptom, fearing what it might mean and a longing to let go whilst not wanting to forget.
I remember the fear and the uncertainty.
The conflict between joy and guilt.
Feeling unable to fully step into making plans.
Desperately wanting to buy the baby clothes and items I adored but feeling unable to begin.
Struggling to allow myself to believe that I might actually have a baby this time.
The dread of going to the toilet incase I saw spotting or bleeding.
The anxiety of attending a scan to be told there was no longer a heartbeat.
Tuning into every flutter, movement or kick and feeling panic when movement was quiet.
Pretending I was ok when I was not.
These are fears, and more, that many people share with me when they are pregnant with their rainbow baby. The journey brings a depth of mixed feelings, emotions and grief that can be isolating, extremely lonely, triggering and conflicting.
When going through a pregnancy after a loss, continuity of emotional support can have such a positive impact, and as a pregnancy and birth companion, the support I offer people who are pregnant with their rainbow baby strives to:
Gently come alongside, to listen and to validate
Meet pregnant people where they are, without judgement or the desire to rush or fix
Be a place where continuity of emotional support and validation exists
Gently hold space so pregnant people can honour themselves, their previous pregnancy loss and their rainbow baby in ways that feel right and meaningful to them.
Provide pregnant people with space to explore what they need and to know they are worthy of a pregnancy and birth experience that honours their past, their present and their future
Support confidence in decision making, planning and and self advocacy, even when that feels impossible, or their voice shakes
And so much more....
Today on National Rainbow Baby Day, I would like to share some words from a family I supported on their rainbow baby journey.
"I wanted to write a message on rainbow baby day. I wanted to thank you for everything you did previously in our births with our children. The loss we had to navigate, the life we held. The space inbetween, the silence, the cry, the warmth. You saw us at the weakest, you stood by us in our biggest empowerment around our informed consent, choices and desires in our rainbow journey. We felt blessed, held, and supported beyond what words could write here. We are thankful we had you along our journey, your quiet stillness, your support when it was needed, your space holding, your loud and authentic passion to birth work, how you navigated never taking our place or our power, or our communication or needs but helped us to know what that was, how we could use it to our best, where we could place ourselves as well as times of knowing we could step back. We are so thankful for all you did, your wisdom. Knowledge. Passion. Care. Communcation. Dedication. Space holding. Trust. Respect. Non judgement. Thank you for supporting us as a same sex couple, for allows us to just be"
